


A wizard’s most arduous adventure: Babysitting (oneshot)

by vala411



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gandalf Is So Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:14:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24460393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vala411/pseuds/vala411
Summary: Gandalf thinks everything will go smoothly...... how wrong he is
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	A wizard’s most arduous adventure: Babysitting (oneshot)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [harrypanther](https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrypanther/gifts).



**A wizard’s most arduous adventure: Babysitting**

“Gandalf, thank you so much!” Belladonna said as she gave her wizard-friend a quick hug while standing in the doorway of Bag End. “You don’t know how grateful I am.”

“Think nothing of it Bella. When will you and Bungo be back?” Gandalf asked as he held little Bilbo in his arms.

“Probably by tonight,” Bella answered. “The Thain has called every able-bodied Hobbit to the Great Smails. I think it has to do with the envoy from Ered Luin.”

“The Dwarves of Ered Luin have been facing some hard times lately.” Gandalf nodded while young Bilbo tugged his beard.

“I just worry, you know.” Bella said as she looked at her son fondly. “You’ve babysat Bilbo a few times……. But the others….”

“Bella, do not worry yourselves.” Gandalf ushered them further out. “Go to your meeting. As you’ve said I have babysat before. The others will be no problem.”

Bella gave Gandalf a look of skepticism but then nodded before she and her husband departed. The wizard went back inside and shut the door. He put Bilbo down and glanced around the large smail. “You wouldn’t happen to know where the other little ones are, would you?”

“Hiding,” Young Bilbo uttered as he stood awkwardly next to Gandalf and looked up.

“Do I have to find them? Gandalf asked with confusion.

“Of course,” the young fauntling said while nodding his head. “It’s hide and seek!” Bilbo uttered matter-of-factly as he too ran further into the house before Gandalf could really think on it further. The old wizard pursed his lips as he was left alone in the entryway. Gandalf then ambled further into the corridors of the smail thinking ‘A game of hide and seek surely wouldn’t be so bad.’ Oh, how wrong he was.

He found Bilbo quite easily, the young Hobbit had hidden himself in between the piles of books in his mother’s study. Finding the others had been a challenge. He’d found young Drogo under a bed in one of the guestrooms and little Primula had been hiding in the linen closet. Young Otho he found hiding under the sink in the kitchen and Falco had been under a wooden box in the pantry but it seemed he was one short.

“Where is Lobelia?” Gandalf asked with a frown. He was sure he had combed the house. He’d even checked the chimney….. Twice.

“Lobelia is really good at hiding,” Young Drogo said as he held onto his little cousin Falco who was easily distracted by something shiny on the table.

“Oh dear,” The wizard muttered. He was a fauntling short and the children were starting to get hungry. It was nearly time for a luncheon afterall.

“Lobelia!” Gandalf called out. “LOBELIA!!!! LOBELIA!!!”

“That’s not going to work Mr. Gandalf,” Bilbo said as he tugged the wizard’s robe. “You have to be sneaky-sneaky to catch her.”

“Sneaky-sneaky?” Gandalf’s brows shot up towards his hairline. “Whatever do you mean my boy?”

“Just tell her Bilbo is sharing cookies with Primula,” Otho huffed as he shot a glare at young Bilbo.

“Eeeeuw! I don’t want her pulling my hair again!” Primula muttered while latching onto Drogo.

“Why ever would she be pulling your hair lass?” Gandalf asked with great confusion as to why Primula was cringing.

“Because Lobelia likes Bilbo!” Drogo happily supplied and then sing-songed “She has a crush! She has a crush!”

“I DO NOT!” Came from the living room and Gandalf strode over to see Lobelia hefting herself out of a porcelain vase, or at least trying to. She got out halfway before getting stuck.

“Oh dear,” Gandalf said as he went to help the young lass. Lobelia seemed well and truly stuck in the vase and she glowered at the rest of the fauntlings that were now watching in amazement.

“She stuck?” Falco asked as he peered from behind Drogo. That was a particularly shy fauntling.

“Of course she’s stuck,” Primula sighed. “I told her countless times not to hide in vases.”

“Maybe if Bilbo told her it would have stuck,” Otho sniggered as Lobelia became rather puce.

“I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON BILBO BAGGINS!” She proclaimed rather loudly and shrilly before blushing from her neck to the tip of her pointed ears. Lobelia then shyly looked at Bilbo who was just staring at the whole scene. The only thing young Bilbo could say was “Uhm, okay. I don’t have a crush on you either,” This however seemed to be the wrong thing to say as Lobelia burst into tears. The young lass was still half stuck in a vase with Gandalf trying to get her out while crying her heart out and sobbing that Bilbo didn’t like her.

“Bilbo Baggins you could have said that with a little more tact!” Gandalf admonished.

“Momma said I’m better off letting them off bluntly than stringing them along,” Bilbo parroted. “Gandalf, what does stringing them along mean?”

“Belladonna what in Yavanna’s name have you been teaching your son?” The old wizard muttered under his breath as he gave up on getting the girl out of the vase. He instead decided to break it.

Gandalf proceeded to dry her face once Lobelia was safely out of the vase. He had picked her up since there were still shards on the floor and then put her down with the other children.

“Hide and seek sucks!” Lobelia proclaimed. “I wanna play something else!”

“Tag?” Primula was the one who suggested it and the ragtag band of fauntlings raced out the front door before Gandalf could even blink. He could see them playing in the yard from the round window as he got a dustpan for the broken vase. It was only a minute later that Bilbo came back into the house.

“Whatever is the matter lad?” Gandalf asked.

“Lobelia said I can’t play,” Bilbo stated as he watched Gandalf clean up. “She’s mad,”

“That I reckon,” The wizard nodded.

“Why?” young Bilbo then asked.

“Well…. Uhm…. she liked you,” Gandalf responded.

“She likes Otho now,” The young Hobbit pointed out.

“Gandalf,”

“Yes, lad?” the old man answered.

“Girls are weird,” Young Bilbo stated and the wizard couldn’t exactly refute the boy.

“I’m hungry,” Bilbo uttered, and then it hit Gandalf that he had completely forgotten that it was luncheon. He went to the front door to call the children back as he had some scones and meat pies for them that Belladonna had made in preparation for the day. Only, there was no one in the yard.

“Bilbo where did they go?” Gandalf turned around to ask Bilbo but the young lad merely shrugged.

“I dunno,”

“Then you wait here!” Gandalf ordered and raced out of the front door.

Gandalf found Drogo not far from Bag End. The young Hobbit was splashing in a muddy pool by the roadside while squealing. There was mud over most of his legs and stomach as if he had slipped and fallen in. Gandalf picked up the boy and asked “Where are the others?”

“Huh?” Drogo mumbled and then pointed towards one of the trees. Lobelia was near the roots while Otho could be seen climbing higher.

“WHAT IN YAVANNA’S NAME ARE YOU DOING!” Gandalf shouted as he held Drogo under his arm while rushing towards the duo. “OTHO SACKVILLE-BAGGINS YOU GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE THIS INSTANCE!”

“NO!” Otho shouted back as the faunt looked down from the branch he was sitting on. Said branch wasn’t as sturdy and cracked. The wizard blanched, put Drogo down, and dove to catch Otho just as the branch broke fully. He caught the little faunt but the branch hit him on the head and Gandalf was sure it would leave a bump.

“Where are Primula and Falco?” Gandalf groaned as he sat up.

“They went to see the piglets,” Lobelia happily supplied before her eyes widened. She proceeded to clamp her tiny hands over her mouth as if to say that she shouldn’t have divulged that. With a groan Gandalf stood up and gathered the three young Hobbits under his arms. The young ones were shouting that they didn’t need to be carried but the wizard would beg to differ.

He made his way down the road with three squirming faunts and near the pigpens of Farmer Proudfoot, he spotted both Primula and Falco petting several piglets. When the two young Hobbits spotted Gandalf they ran like a dragon was hot on their heels. Gandalf of course gave chase. The two young ones scrambled under the wooden fence of the pigpen but Gandalf was too tall and very man-like that he would never fit under there. So the wizard hopped over the fence of the pigpen only to end up seated on a very large, fat, pork belly pig. The three young ones Gandalf had under his arms squealed with glee as the pig was rather angry at the wizard for sitting on his back. Said pig decided it was a good idea to stand up and start running.

“WEEEEEEEEEEE!” Drogo exclaimed as Gandalf held onto them while he was being carried away by the pig. He’d lost his hat when the pig took off. When the poor wizard finally managed to get off the irate porkchop he managed to grab Primula and Falco before going back to look for his hat. The pointy hat in question which was now being munched on by one of the other pigs.

When Gandalf finally reached bag End again he and the faunts were covered in mud, leaves and twigs. The old man opened the round door tot he smail and called out for Bilbo whom he had left there. There seemed to be no one in the house and Gandalf blanched at the prospect of tracking down another one.

“I’m right here Mr. Gandalf,” Bilbo answered from behind the muddy group causing the wizard to nearly jump if the ceiling wasn’t so close. He hadn’t even heard the boy walking up to him and his brows reached his hairline when Bilbo walked past with a burlap sack filled with mushrooms.

“Where ever have you been lad?” Gandalf asked with a frown.

“I got hungry so I got us all mushrooms from Farmer Maggot,” Bilbo proudly proclaimed causing the other younglings to cheer.

‘Why all the nerve,’ Gandalf thought. Bilbo Baggins had been burglarizing the poor farmer. “Did I not tell you to stay here?!” Gandalf then asked.

“Yes,” Bilbo answered.

“Then why did you go outside?!” Gandalf then questioned.

“You didn’t say please,” Was the reply the muddy and exasperated wizard got. He honestly should have expected that response from Belladonna’s son.

**The End**


End file.
